Sunday, December 15, 2013

Snow & Other Stuff

 

After 2 days of snow this is the scene outside the French doors in my kitchen. Ya want some snow, come get it, it's free!


I spent 4 hours outside yesterday morning shoveling snow the old-fashioned way. Do I have a snow blower, why yes, I do. Can I remember how to start it, no, I do not. I shoveled snow till my coat was soaked through to my blouse. I shoveled snow while it was still snowing. There was another inch on the driveway when I stopped. I had about 3 more feet to go to the end of the drive and I had had it. Why bother I thought, the snow plow will just shove it all closed again anyways, I know, it happens all the time. I came in and then went back out at 5 pm for 2 more hours of shoveling. Some sweet soul had cleaned out the end of my drive. I have no clue who it was. I just know I thanked God for their kindness to me. I came in and took a nice hot bath with a side order of Tylenol. I thought if I should have my heart attack at least they will find me clean. I went back out this morning for another 3 hours. The wind was blowing and it was cold. The sun came out for about 30 minutes and then it was cloudy again. Our first measurable snowfall and I am sick of it already.

I filled the bird feeders and cleaned a spot for the dogs to do their business. When you have little dogs the snow is as deep as they are tall.

 

I have been doing little projects. I made a quick scarf for my grandson Holden. It is another stash buster. I love doing the knitted rice stitch (aka moss stitch) but was not so happy where you join the new color to the previous one. You always get that funky spot where the two colors come together. The rice stitch is done by casting on an odd number of stitches, I did about 17, then you k1, p1, k1, p1, k1 all the way across the row ending with a knit stitch. You will start and end with a knit stitch. You turn your work and the next row is just a repeat of the first row. All rows are worked that way. I did get the fringe on the scarf but didn't take a pic of it completed.


Then before the baby's scarf (I'm back tracking here) I used some more of my Jiffy yarn and made myself another scarf using the same rice stitch.


I love this Jiffy yarn for its softness and the ease when using it to knit or crochet.


More of the same yarn, different color for an eternity scarf for my youngest daughter Meghan. She will get this and matching hand warmers for Christmas. A few more pictures of them.......



 


The scarf and mitts do match in color, but amazingly the flash shows them otherwise. I seem to be on a kick of doing nothing but scarves lately. I'll do them until the next obsession comes along.





For a fleeting moment I got the bug to do some holiday baking. Well, this is as far as I got. I was meaning to add some decorations to these spritz cookies but.........

 

my heart wasn't in it, although my mouth was willing to be the taste tester over and over again. I ended up putting them in a container so they were out of sight. Oh, I had big ideas, I bought all sorts of ingredients to make up several kinds of cookies and share with family and friends, but I lost all interest in a short period of time. Right now I have a hard time focusing on any one thing for long. I seem to have lost interest in a lot of things. I know people are wanting me to get back to normal. I hate to tell them, but I will never be the same old Sue as before. I feel like such a wet blanket and I hate that I might be bringing people down with my loss. I am honestly trying hard to shake these feelings, but unless you have gone through the same thing it is hard to understand. I know 5 women who have become widows in the last 3 years so I am by no means the only one who is feeling like this. It just seeps through the cracks of my life and it takes so much energy to keep from falling all to pieces. Maybe it is because this is the first Christmas without my guy and next month, on my birthday, it will be a year since he passed away.


I ask that you do not give up on me. So many of you are the sunshine I need to brighten my days. I love that you include me in your lives, even if it is from afar. I love to read what you are doing whether it be happy or sad. I get many a good laugh from some of your funny happenings and the silly things that you share with all of us. So many of you have a rock solid sense of humor mingled with compassion and understanding. So many of you have your own troubles and struggles. I love that many are so giving and unselfish. You are all undemanding and accepting. You are all blessings, I can't say that enough ♥

8 comments:

  1. Susanne,
    I'm sorry your day is feeling so heavy. Please know there are many of us out here that look forward to your postings and enjoy hearing from you. These Ohio days can be tough and not made for sissies. Be careful with that snow removal. Please keep in touch with those five other
    widows, they probably need you just as much as you need them.

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  2. Dear Susanne, you are certainly keeping busy!! I can't believe all that shovelling you did. You should be very pleased with your efforts but I know it seems like an uphill battle when the snow just keeps on coming. Is there maybe a neighbour who you could barter with? You could bake them cookies or knit something and they could do your driveway; at least now and then? Just a thought to consider. I do like all your scarves, hand warmers and cookies. They all look wonderful.

    Please don't be too hard on yourself about being down. This is your first year without your beloved. Most of us know how hard that can really be even if we are in different circumstances. No matter who we've lost the first few years are very hard. I honestly didn't get beyond the grief for a very long time when we lost my dear sister. For me, losing her really changed the dynamics in my small family and it left me as the only girl. I really pray that you will just take it easy this Christmas and let your memories flow, good and bad. You have a right to let your tears out. They are precious and God saves them in a bottle. Also try to watch a funny movie or two because laughter can really change our body chemistry too. Something simple really works. Big hugs to you. xx

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  3. Hi Suzanne,

    I love snow but only if I don't have to try and get my self to work in it. I love the sound that fresh snow makes when you step into it for the first time. I have three King Charles Cavaliers two of which only saw snow for the first time this year and I'm not so sure they liked it. This time of year is especially hard on those who are recently bereaved. You will emerge from your fog when you are good and ready your husband was obviously a wonderful man and your best friend and no one will understand how this is making you feel unless they have experienced it themselves. It is still very early days for you and your family but you will get through it.

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  4. Hello, my friend! I feel just as you do about snow...and shoveling...and getting soaked with sweat clean through...and not having the energy to finish the last few feet...and definitely about it building up some more after you finish shoveling! And darn those plows that push it all back up in the driveway! But, I always feel best about trying to keep ahead of it a little. So much easier to shovel an inch than three or four! When we bought our home, I loved that it had a nice wide and long driveway. Then the snow came and I had to shovel said driveway! If we let it ice up, it's just suicide! Especially because it's not flat! Then there's my brick steps that lead to the front door! Must get those cleaned as often and as quickly as possible...and the looooong walkway from the driveway to the front steps...and the deck outside the back door where the dogs walk to access the yard. Yes indeed, so much shoveling, so few hours! I'm always happy when it doesn't stick! But you have it oh so much more where you are! Poor dear! Look online and see if you can't find the manual for that snow blower! It's probably our there free and would be a huge help to you! Hugs, Annette

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  5. Sweet Susanne, you poor dear. I wish I could say all the right things and make it all better, but I know that's not possible. It is a really tough time of year and you are really missing him.

    Your cookies are so pretty, even without any decoration. They don't need any with that pretty shape. I haven't put out any decorations whatsoever or done anything related to Christmasy at all. I really just like to skip it this year, wouldn't you? Some people love Christmas, but I've never been one of them.

    I'm envious of your snow but not the work it has caused you! I'm afraid my snow would just have to pile up until it melts as I watch it from my windows.

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  6. I love the scarves and hand warmers you've made Susanne - they're very nice. Please try to find a young man in the neighborhood that can help you out with the snow shoveling and yard work. You shouldn't be doing all that by yourself.

    Although losing a husband is not the same as losing a sister - I kind of know what you're going through. Everything is different and just doesn't seem right. It will get better as time goes by. ((hugs)) to you. ♥

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  7. Hi Susanne.. how about a big bear hug? I'll have to send it virtually, but consider yourself hugged. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know you're having to get used to your new reality. The only thing I can recommend is that you get together with friends and family as much as possible. About that snow - we never get enough here to shovel much.. although sometimes we do and hubs has used his tractor. Your scarves are wonderful.. makes me want to start one. I haven't crocheted in weeks, actually.. my project is a boy blanket that isn't very xmassy! Well, time to get ready to go swimming. Now listen.. don't kill yourself shoveling.. maybe it's time to call in your brother?

    ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  8. Susanne, my sweet friend. Of course you are sad, it is your first Christmas without your beloved husband. Of course you are still grieving, you need to pat yourself on the back for all you have accomplished this past year. You have gone through so much, yet yoou still try to hold onto things that make you happy, your family, your friends, nature and of course your love of yarn. If you need to dry, than you cry. If you need to make cookies, then make them, but don't beat yourself up if you do not make three different kinds. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself just like you would treat a friend going through the same thing. We all love you, remember that.
    Hugs,
    Meredith

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